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Year 2026: Our Year of Showers of Mercy

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Reaching Lives… Transforming Lives...

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MarriageMonday, August 10, 20263 min read

Handling Temptations in Marriage

Joyce Obideyi

Text: 1 Cor. 10:13, There hath no temptation taken you such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

How to Handle Temptations in Marriage

1. Build Strong Foundations Together

a. Spiritual unity: Pray together, study scripture together. Temptation is easier to resist when you’re both drawing from the same source of strength.

b. Shared vision: Keep reminding yourselves why you chose each other — “destined forever” means guarding that covenant/vision/vow. The family that stays together will build together.

2. Respect for Each Partner Respect is choosing to honor your spouse in words, actions, and thoughts — especially when no one is watching.

What it looks like:

a. In communication: No insults, sarcasm, or shouting. Speak to build up, not tear down.

b. In decisions: Involve each other. “Shared responsibility” means both voices matter.

c. In public & private: Defend your spouse, don’t embarrass or expose them to others.

d. In differences: Disagree without disrespect. You can say “I see it differently” without saying “You’re wrong/stupid.”

e. In boundaries: Protect your spouse’s dignity. Don’t share their weaknesses with friends/family as gossip.

Disrespect creates distance. Distance creates room for someone else to come in and “make you feel valued.” When respect is constant, your spouse remains your safe place. Couples who respect and speak positively about each other are far less vulnerable to temptation, because their emotional and spiritual needs are being met at home.

3. Positivity about Your Marriage

Positivity is choosing to see, speak, and invest in the good of your marriage — even during hard seasons.

What it looks like:

a. Speak well of your marriage: Instead of “Marriage is hard,” try “We’re growing stronger together.”

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b. Appreciation habit: Thank your partner daily. “I noticed you…” “I appreciate you for…”

c. Celebrate wins: Big or small — new job, cooked meal, handled a kid’s issue well. Clap for each other.

d. Reframe problems: “We have a problem” vs “You are the problem.” It’s you + me vs the issue.

e. Invest in fun: Date nights, laughter, inside jokes. Joy is protection. Couples who laugh together stay together.

f. Guard your words: No “I regret marrying you” or “Anybody but you.” Words create the climate of your home.

“When you’re constantly negative about your marriage, you start believing the lie that “the grass is greener elsewhere.” Positivity reminds you: “The grass is greener where we water it.”

4. Renew Your Commitment Regularly

Do little things that remind you: date nights, anniversary reflections, renewing vows, serving together.
When you keep choosing each other on purpose, temptation loses power. _“Staying strong together means we don’t fight temptation alone. We fight it as a team with God, with boundaries and with honesty. When a couple feels respected and positive about their marriage, outside distractions lose their appeal Key Summit Takeaway to Share: Respect keeps the door closed to outsiders. Positivity keeps the fire burning inside.

5. Set Healthy Boundaries

a. With the opposite sex: No secret chats, no late-night just talking, no emotional affairs. Agree on what’s okay for both of you.

b. Avoid gifts from the opposite sex as much as possible especially when you see red flags.

c. With media/social media: Unfollow accounts, movies, or content that stirs lust or comparison.

d. Transparency: Phones and passwords don’t have to be an issue when there’s nothing to hide.

e. Communicate it early if it happens. Name it before it grows: If you feel tempted, attracted to someone else, or lonely, tell your spouse. Shame grows in silence.

6. Meet Each Other’s Needs Intentionally

Many temptations start from unmet needs: attention, affection, appreciation, intimacy.

a. Emotional: Listen, affirm, spend quality time

b. Physical: Prioritize intimacy and connection

c. Practical: Share responsibilities so resentment doesn’t build

Conclusion

  1. Don’t do marriage alone. Have older couples you can talk to.

  2. Isolation makes temptation stronger. Community keeps you grounded.

  3. Most importantly Flee temptation, don’t negotiate it.

  4. Talk to your spouse about it